Archive for December, 2005
Don’t misunderstand me! I do love Tiffany, but it’s just ……
Well, I went out to have dinner with Chap last night. We were talking about presents. (Actually, I asked him if he had figured out what to buy me for Christmas. :p)
His answer was typical: “yeah …… but is there anything you want?”
Then he went on talking about his thought on giving presents:
“You know? I’m just wondering …… the reason of buying each other presents years after years… we’ve been together for 3 years and that there are many more years to come … it’s getting harder and harder to think of something new and surprising to give you. ”
My first response? Typical!
“ok then! I’ll just look for another b/f.” (Thanks for releasing me…. lol )
Anyway, I do know that December to February is quite a hard time for him.
First, it’s Christmas. Then it’s my birthday in early-January. After about a month, it’s Valentine’s Day.
I never think it’s hard to buy me something that would please me. I dun really need expensive stuff. Although I love surprises, something with love and thoughts would do.
Anyway, we finally had no conclusion on Christmas gifts; but I agree to receive something from Tiffany on my fourth birthday with him.
He has been giving me a Tiffany necklace for my birthdays for 3 years. He said … he felt that he wanted to give me something from Tiffany every year on my birthday and that he wanted to keep this “tradition”.
Well, I’m glad to hear that. After all, no girl would refuse a Tiffany; but on my second thought, I found that there was actually a trick behind … because that means he will never have to put much thought on what to get me for birthday.
How stupid I am ?!
Although there are many other Tiffany products besides necklaces, I dun want them. I dun wear rings; I seldom wear bracelet; and I’m not yet at the age of loving diamonds. I’d rather have a laptop. (Of course he can’t afford diamonds from Tiffany.) As for silver stationary, tablewares, watches …. nah… maybe later… I’m still into that binary watch. ha ha…
Anyway, let’s see what I can get from Tiffany this year.
December 21st, 2005
Finally I can enjoy my X’mas holiday! Although I did really bad in my last exam yesterday and actually I did really bad throughout the whole semester, I’m glad that Santa Clause is coming to town. 
Christmas is always my favourite festival. Is it yours?
I chatted with my TA and my prof after the exam yesterday. They’re both very nice people. Some of my classmates brought a camera and took pictures with the prof. I should have brought my camera, too; but no…… I looked horrible recently. I hope I can return back to my pretty mode in this holiday. :p
You know? Everytime I look at some of my favourite pictures, I feel really happy and I can’t help asking myself: how can you be so beautiful? LOL … but then I doubt if that was the real me. Probably it was just because of the use of angles —that’s my conclusion; and even if I was really that beautiful, I doubt if I can look the same again.
I never ignored my appearance to this extent before. I wear glasses throughout the whole semester. I don’t even bother combing my hair to make it look nice. Just a few brushes in the morning and off I go. I wear similar clothes every single day because I’m too tired to look for something else to wear.
I dunno what’s happening to me. I used to care a lot about my appearance. If I was too tired to make myself look good, I would try not to talk to anyone because I didn’t want others to see the ugly me; but in this semester? That was no longer the case.
Somehow I feel that my study is more important and that it needs more of my attention, so I’d rather spend time studying and sleeping than waking up early to worry about what to wear and how I look. Nevertheless, I started slacking after a few weeks of hard work. Sooner or later I’ll see my penalty.
My TA will TA the same course next term, and my prof will teach the same course again, too. Although they joked that they didn’t want to see me again, I doubt if I can pass.
I know how lazy I’ve been. Each Assignment’s worth 10% of the final mark (you should be able to get an idea how much they expect from you in the assignments), but I started the night before it was due. I dunno if I was too brave or chicken… anyway, I’m fine with failing this course. I guess it’s because I know clearly that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do in the course. (Perfectionism’s at work). I feel that I deserve an F. Besides, there have been too many times that I deserved a bad mark yet I ended up getting an A.
I once really saw an F coming. I told my friend about it. He didn’t trust me, saying that I simply worried too much and that I would never get a bad mark. Later I ended up getting an A-, and that further strengthened his belief. He never understood how close I was near to a fail. It was the final exam that brought up my marks.
Anyway, I’m not saying that I’m smart. I know I’m not!
I no longer think that getting a bachelor was too little an accomplishment and that one should get at least a Master degree. I’m no longer ambiguous. I just want to finish my degree asap.
I dunno if computer science is something for me. The more I study, the dumber I feel I am … yet this is still something I’m fascinated about.
Maybe I won’t get a CS job and I won’t look for one, but computer science is definitely something I want to learn.
The only thing that worries me is that I would forget all this cs stuff that I’ve learned if I didn’t work in the field.
Anyway, there doesn’t seem to be a choice for me yet.
My future still looks so blurry to me.
December 21st, 2005
He’s so nice, and this makes me feel bad for not doing anything yesterday and have been procrastinating for the whole day. I woke up at 9:30a.m., went to McDonald’s to get my Sausage N’Egg McMuffin, and then procrastinated, procrastinated, procrastinated, and procrastinated. Still haven’t started studying for my last exam. (It’s tomorrow, and it’s now 8a.m.. OMG! I thought it was 6p.m…. even worse now.)
Anyway, I’ll switch on a study mode. Hopefully it still exists, and the full-speed reading function is working. Bye!
December 18th, 2005
Nude No More
This is a picture on a T-shirt from Threadless. It speaks your mind eh?! Too bad that it doesn’t look good on a T-shirt, or I would have bought it.
I actually bought a tee on Threadless a few weeks ago: my pet human. Since I wasn’t sure what size I should get, I only bought one; and now the $10 sales has ended. I guess I’ll wait for another sales b4 getting more tees there.
Here are “a few” highlights:
Which one do you like? I like Shadow Bunny, Flowers in the Attic, The Killing Tree, Evolution, Barrow Bath, and She Doesn’t Even Realize. I guess my list is growing. :p
December 18th, 2005
Kerala Trance
Samui Moon Ibiza Ride Goa Wave
Which one do you like?
I first saw the Kerala Trance collection and the samui moon collection in a magazine. Then I took a liking of the Kerala Trance collection. I went to their website and saw the Ibiza Ride collection. Now I think I like the Ibiza Ride one above.
I found that they have a Canadian distrubutor in B.C., and they have a website. Yay! Online shopping … but I dun have extra money for an extra watch. Plus, the watch may be a bit too big for me. Yeah… right… it won’t look good on my hand. It won’t….it won’t…it won’t… (I’ll forget about it… )
December 16th, 2005
I was about to leave home for school, and I saw dad pop up on MSN Messenger. Haven’t seen him online for a while. Guess it was because we got online at different time.
I once saw him online at around 6a.m., I talked to him but got him to question me why I hadn’t gone to bed, so it’s not always a good idea to message my dad. You dun want him to know how messed up your time is.
Anyway, it’s around noon now. There’s nothing I can be questioned about, I suppose; so I messaged him~
Steph says:
hi daddy! This is Ching Yee. (He wouldn’t know who I am if I didn’t tell him coz I contantly change my MSN nickname.)
Dad says:
你�?用考試嗎
Steph says:
明天和星期一
�?�在準備回校温書
Dad says:
�?�?怕 ,爸媽會體諒的 .衹望�? ,�?自己有信心, 那怕�?�?�?績 ,都值得嬌傲, 因為是自己的�?果 失敗�?��?�次 ,都會有�?功的一次, 放開心情, 去迎接挑戰
Steph says:
爸爸多�?你�?
我回去準備返學，�?�點�?談。
Dad says:
我熄機 ,拜拜
Steph says:
你�?�?身體�?�?見�?
Yes, it’s short talk; but I feel so warm hearing dad’s enouragement. I guess I’m really lucky to have my parents being so understanding. I didn’t tell them what happened on Monday: a series of unfortunate events because I didn’t want them to worry about me. After all, there’s nothing much they can do; and I guess I can handle it.
Well, really gotta go and kick some ass. Wish me luck coz I need a lot of them. See ya!
December 15th, 2005
Today is a bad bad bad day. I thought I would share with you what had happened to me, but that’s a long and complicated story, and I’m not yet in the mood to talk about it.
Well, maybe you can get an idea from these keywords of my tragic story:
Subway, Cell Phone, Paid Phone, Exam, Pedestrians, Professor, Me, Quarters, Delay, Tears, Death, …
December 12th, 2005
I guess this is my first post in Chinese. Well, not exactly coz those in Chinese are not my work. They are lyrics…again… yes~ I’m obsessed with lyrics these days. Actually, I used to be. I once wanted to be a lyrics writer, but I knew that was not possible coz my English was bad and my Chinese was not good, either.
That was just a temporary dream.
My very first online diary was in Chinese, but then I gave it up because I didn’t know how to type Chinese characters on a computer. I could only write everything on paper and then asked Chap to type it up for me; but as you may know, it was not possible to get Chap to have the typing done in a short time. Therefore, there was always a huge delay of my postings — to a point that my diary site went into a deep sleep.
I didn’t really plan to have another online “diary�? after that one. It was a time-consuming activity, and I thought I should spend more time on other stuff than writing up my own stupid thoughts.
However, at the end of last summer, somehow I felt like writing again. Guess it was because I was bothered by something and I needed a way to express my feelings.
There are things that I would only do when something bad happen.
I would do something that I normally wouldn’t do when things were going well.
Anyway, this explains how this MSN Space started.
I do realize a bunch of limitations of MSN Space, and Chap has been trying to convince me to switch to Wordpress. Yes, I finally got an account at wordpress.com, but web-based Wordpress isn’t as powerful as its parent—wordpress (the program for blog).
The drawback of the wordpress program is that you need a place to host your blog. I dun have one, so it was not yet an option for me.
Plus I didn’t plan to spend much time on blogging when I first started my MSN Space. I just wanted a place to voice my thoughts. That was it. I didn’t need fancy stuff….plain text would be fine; but of course, people get greedy in time, and more is better at a certain extent.
For example, I’d love a more powerful Windows Media Player on my MSN Space. I want one that can let me play more than one songs and that people can choose from a list what you want to listen. Chap has something similar to what I want, but I doubt if there’s way to do it on MSN Space.
Anyway, it’s fun to blog. I love it, but I need some self-control on how much time I should spend on it.
Hey! Let me ask you a question. Do you prefer something more technical or something more sentimental here? Sentimental eh? (I guess)…… coz I’m actually not quite knowledgeable in those stuff as most guys do. I’d love to be geekier in the computer science field, but I know I can never be. So far I’ve only met one gal whose interests are like a guy’s. She loved to play Diablo, and she had three computers in her room. (Hey Ming! I miss you!!!)
Well, I guess that’s enough BS for today.
The song I want to bring you today is a Chinese one by Leo Koo called 心跳回憶.
I haven’t listened to any Chinese songs for a long time. I’m more inclined to something else recently; but I guess I should make myself listen to more Chinese songs as I want to go to karaoke during my X’mas holiday.
Well, back to the song. It’s a sad one with a sad story.
Here’s the part that I want to share with you.
無論事隔多年我也心跳
最後和你雖如我那所料
先挑引我的人愛得比我少
然後見�?�更少
…………………………………
彷彿我的心 如�?見了
然而懷念當日你我這段傻事
…………………………………
Isn’t it sad that the one who started everything up ended up not loving you as much as it seemed?
Isn’t it cruel? Isn’t it sarcastic?
I think so; but even though I was a victim, I did do the same thing to someone else.
I guess we’re all selfish.
December 9th, 2005
Another song I’d love to share with you:
Your song by Ewan McGregor and Alessandro Safina in Moulin Rouge
It is originally sung by Elton John, but I prefer this version by Ewan McGregor than the one by Elton John.
==============================
My gift is my song
And this one’s for you
And you can tell everybody
That this is your song
It maybe quite simple
But now that it’s done
Hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world
Sat on the roof
And I kicked off the moss
Though some of these verses well they
They got me quite cross
But the sun’s been kind
While I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that
Keep it turned on
So excuse me forgetting
But these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten
If they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Your eyes are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen
And you can tell everybody
This is your song
It may be quite simple
But now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world
==============================
December 8th, 2005
Asking questions don’t necessarily mean that you don’t know the answers. Sometimes we just want to make sure what we think is right.
Well, yes that it’s a good attutide to seek for the ultimate truth; but ever considered it might be a humiliation to another person?
She has already totally opened her heart and spoken out. You know how she feels, and it’s not a good feeling.
She’s happy that you tried to offer some “friendly” care, but this wouldn’t help the situation as it will still be a dead end, a dead end…… as you said.
Then why ask?
If the feeling is there, it’s there; you don’t have to think if it’s there. If you have to think, then it’s not there.
Some of you might not understand what the hell I’m talking about. I know there are things you might find ambiguous, but can you please simply think of all this crap as some of my crazy thoughts and imagination and that they might not make sense? They’re crap. You got me?
Do I have to always be responsible for what I said in this tiny little space on the WORLD WIDE WEB?
I just want to say whatever I want to say. I hate that my right of speech is limited by who I am and the responsibilities that come with this identity.
It’s not that I don’t care about your feeling. I simply need a way to lash out my anger, frustration, stress ……whatever feeling I have.
I like you, and I love you.
December 8th, 2005
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