under attack

June 24th, 2007

Can anyone tell me what I should do? I’m sad. I’m lost. I’m scared. Everything is telling me that this relationship won’t last very long… I don’t want to give up… I really don’t…. but I’m feeling very weak… too weak to stand against the fact.

I love God, and I love my dad. God is my everything, and my dad is someone I respect most…. but the man I see as my future husband doesn’t love them…… Things weren’t like that before…. What did I do?

I thought this would only happen on TV, and I used to think that was some outdated story……. but now I know how painful it is…

I can’t imagine what it would be like if Chapman and I really broke up… so I chose to stay… trying my best to ignore the problem… stealing as many days as I can to be with him.

I’m scared… I’m really very scared… I don’t know what Chap will say to me in the next minute… I’m scared that he would become really cold to me again… I don’t know how long I can hang on… I don’t know when Chap would tell me again that things don’t work out and breaking up is inevitable.

Living in fear… living in tears… living in desperation…

Entry Filed under: Relationships/Friends, Life, God

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