waiting for a call
I went to the library yesterday. I planned to stay there until it closed at 10p.m.. I text-messaged Chap in the afternoon, told him my plan and asked him to go home after work and get some rest (as he hadn’t slept much the night before).
He didn’t message me back. I thought he was busy at work.
6p.m. … he should be off… but there still wasn’t any call from him. I guessed he had some unfinished business at work… so I patiently waited for his call…
6:30.m. … 6:45p.m. … 6:55p.m. …
“Why didn’t he call me back?” I wondered…
“Not even a message?”
“Is it possible that the reception is bad there and he doesn’t get my messages and calls?”
7:15p.m. … 7:30p.m. … 7:45p.m. …
“Maybe he was too tired, and he went to bed once he got home from work…”
“Maybe he was in a meeting.”
“Maybe he forgot to turn on the sound of his cell phone.”
“Maybe… … …”
I tried calling him again and again… disappointment, disappointment, disappointment …
“Does he not pick up my call on purpose?”
“Or he has an accident?”
I started to worry about his safety.
8p.m. … 8:10p.m. … 8:15p.m. … 8:20p.m. … where is he? Where is he?
I couldn’t concentrate on my work, and I started feeling sick.
I felt a bit faint, and I wanted to throw up. I was very nervous.
9:40p.m…. I couldn’t wait anymore. I decided to go home myself, hoping that I would find Chap falling asleep on the couch when I opened the door.
The subway ride wasn’t as bad as I had expected. It didn’t take me very long to wait for a streetcar and a train.
I bore the hope of seeing Chapman at home, and there I arrived at the door… and noticed that the lights were not on inside.
“He just didn’t turn on the light,” I told myself while I was opening the door.
Silence ……
I could feel that Chap was not home……
I turned on the light and looked over an empty couch……
No… he didn’t come home…
I tried once again to give myself some hope.
I went to open the bedroom door……
No……
Where is he? Where is he?
I tried calling him again… Ring… Ring… Ring………… once again… I was greeted by a recording…
I cried…
I didn’t know what else I could do…
I called his friend from the teashop. No…… he didn’t see Chap and didn’t hear from him.
Where is he?
I went down to the garage, hoping to find his car there.
If he did drive home and leave his car in the garage, he shouldn’t be very far from home.
but…. No… his car was not there…
I went back home….. crying… didn’t know what to do…
I didn’t want to stay in an empty home…
I put on my shoes…… planning to go wander on the street…
then my phone rang!!!
“Chap…. it’s Chap!”
I was happy…but still crying.
* * * * *
He said he went to watch a movie and forgot his cellphone in his car.
He apologized for making me so worried… but I didn’t pay attention to his apology. I just wanted to see him very much.
He said he would never run away silently without a notice; he would come home no matter what happened.
I asked him to promise me he would give me a call everyday after work.
He said… he would try……
I asked him to promise me he would answer my call.
He said… he would try……
I understand that he needs some private time……
I know he’s suffering, too…
so I didn’t make any more request.
I guess I should learn to live with it…… learn to get used to all these uncertainties in the relationship…… learn to accept the fact that things have changed and they might never be the same.
Do I have a boyfriend?
Are we still together?
Can anyone give me an answer?
Add comment June 28th, 2007