Deliciously Stephy

The one person that I love most in this world.

My Father.

Not sure why…. all of a sudden I have such a strong urge to tell the world my love to my dad… I was listening to Jay Chow … then I thought of daddy coz he loved listening to music and he listened to Jay Chow’s. (He probably knows more Chinese Pop than me. LOL!)

I actually don’t know many Jay Chow’s songs… but this song…擱淺 is sooooo good. It was my brother who recommended it to me… Ha ha…

Anyway… I should stop writing…The sad melody of the song+the thought of my beloved father is bringing tears out of my eyes.

I can give up anything … anyone in this world for my dad.

Add comment March 10th, 2007

What are you still afraid of when you’re so sad?

Went to Robarts Library tonight after class coz it was closer.

I was surprised to find out that there were new lighting and new chairs. (UofT finally realized how dark the library had been.)

Nevertheless, I couldn’t seem to concentrate. I was bothered by something…. I am bothered by something…. still.

I know it’s stupid, but I simply can’t help…… so finally… I cried.

Called up a friend, but I didn’t tell him what had made me so sad.

Guessed I wouldn’t tell anyone.

It was dark outside……. another silent night…… snowing……cold……
Usually I would feel lonely on my way to the subway station……

but grief outpowered loneliness tonight.

All of a sudden…… nothing seemed to matter.

nothing…… but not ……

Add comment January 17th, 2007

Think Of Me

Think Of Me by Emmy Rossum

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXDonUxBxig]

Think Of Me by Sarah Brightman

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWm36HAgk8U]

Think of me
think of me fondly,
when we’ve said goodbye.

Remember me
once in a while -
please promise me
you’ll try.

When you find that, once again,
you long to take your heart back and be free -
if you ever find a moment,
spare a thought for me

We never said
our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but if you can still remember
stop and think of me . . .

Think of all the things we’ve shared and seen -
don’t think about the things which might have been . . .

Think of me,
think of me waking,
silent and resigned.

Imagine me,
trying too hard
to put you from my mind.

Recall those days
look back on all those times,
think of the things we’ll never do -
there will never be a day,
when I won’t think of you . . .

Add comment January 14th, 2007

No one’s perfect.

I went to church myself this morning — a total of 40 minutes of lonely walk.

Chap? He refused to wake up.

Well, he’s very tired these days — making around 200 cups of bubble tea a night…

How tiring is that? I dunno; but honestly, I was a bit mad that he didn’t make it to church.

I was planning to give him some silence treatment, but then the speaker of today’s worship reminded us that no one was perfect and that we needed to accept other people’s flaws …… so there gone my anger.

Add comment January 8th, 2007

Finally I’ve learned

People always forget about what they have said.

Good that you no longer care much about them,

or you would be once again being driven crazy by disappointment.

Add comment December 13th, 2006

“I’m cute” song by Dot

Another Animaniacs song that I like.

I mentioned it before in my post about the “all the country names song”.

It also kinda matches with the topic of my last post, too.

Anyway, I highly recommend you pay attention to the lyrics.

Add comment November 11th, 2006

I’m cute???

Was supposed to work tonight, but the restaurant I’m working at was temporarily closed down due to some problem with the ventilation system.

I was planning to go to Bahen to study and to work on my SQL and JDBC assignment, but I finally made a trip to a Timmy’s near where I live; and something funny happened there.

—————————————————————————————-

I was sitting in the high table/chair section—facing the windows, reading.

A guy came up to me suddenly and said,

“My friend thinks you’re really really really cute.”

“Oh…..mm…… thank you!” I was surprised …… not sure what to say.

(Who on Earth would expect something like this to happen at a coffee shop?)

Then he handed me a napkin with his friend’s number written on it.

“………… but ………… I won’t call him.” I replied.

“He’s a very good guy.” he replied.

“…… I have a boyfriend.” I said.

“oh…… sorry!” he said.

—————————————————————————————-

I guess everyone loves hearing compliments.

To be honest, I’m flattered…… There are really a lot of happenings these two months.

A friend was saying tonight that he found guys quite “hungry” and aggressive these days …… he doubted how and where I got all this charm to attract these people…… lol……

Well, somehow I feel that it’s God’s arrangement though I dun really understand why.
I honestly have nothing to be proud of.

All that I have is bestowed by Him.

He could make people hate me even if I had a pretty face.

In a similar vein, He could make everyone love me even if I looked extremely ugly.

What I’m trying to say here is that we should always be humble.

Let’s not forget His blessings upon us.

Add comment November 11th, 2006

Men suck.

I was really angry this afternoon. You know what? Men really suck, and

for the first time in my life, I felt that the world would be better without them ……

but then I prayed. I prayed that God would help me be more understanding.

Although I still can’t really see the whole thing from “that person” ’s point of view,

my anger has gradually dissipated after the prayer.

Nevertheless, somehow I wished I had been more mean to others.

Again and again… they make me feel that they’re not worth my being nice to them.
Should I listen to my friends’ advice?

Or should I keep my conviction?

Can anyone give me an answer?

Add comment November 8th, 2006

Leave me alone.

Maybe life would be less complicated if I was a lesbian.

Nah… I know it’s not true. I’m simply lost and confused.

What is right?

What is wrong?

I dunno……

I just want to be myself and do what I want to do.

Add comment November 1st, 2006

Honesty vs. Protection

How long has it been? Two weeks.

Anger seems to have gone away, but I’m still griefing……

Griefing over what? I’m not sure.

Loss of a friendship? Being hurt? Or seeing his true colour and his change?

I just feel really confused as to how I should treat people around me.

I don’t even know how much I should trust some of my “friends”.

Do they really treat me as a good friend? Or they have some other motives and intentions?

All of a sudden, I’m scared of letting people know anything about me.

“You’re too naiive” and “You dunno how to protect yourself.” are two very common comments I hear from my friends.

Well, there’s some truth there; and I won’t deny it ……

but that was someone whom I’ve known for so long……

is it my problem to trust him?

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

Maybe I shouldn’t have ignored the fact that he liked me.

. . . . . .
. . . . . .

P.S.

If you find me lying about something recently, remember that it’s not intentional.

I’m just feeling really confused.

Add comment October 29th, 2006